And I don’t mean just on Twitter. I’ve also started using the Unfollow button in my life outside of Twitter, and I am here to tell you, it’s making me feel a little giddy and a lot empowered.
I’m one of those people with the kind of martyr complex that thinks the harder the thing is the better it is for me. It’s especially true when it comes to relationships of all kinds.
Here’s a good example of my particular pattern before I discovered the unfollow button;
Someone in my life is negative, critical, tells me all the reasons why it’s not a good idea, why it won’t work, tells me who I am, analyzes me constantly and is usually wrong, undermines me, is generally not enthusiastic and supportive, and is lacking a can-do attitude.
When I am around these people, I feel a loss of confidence, a drain of life force, a claustrophobia, defeated, anxious, and overall like crap about myself.
Now. One could make the argument (I’ve made this exact one myself for YEARS), that having these sorts of people in your life is good for you. That it develops a certain ability to be impervious to criticism and negativity and that if you really want your dreams, these people cannot deter you, and that dealing with negative emotion directed toward you is somehow good for you.
I imagine that is true on some level, but the cost of building that kind of thick skin has taken me from the actual work that I want to do. The dreams I want to bring to fruition. For years!
I have mistakenly thought that I HAD TO grind away with people who don’t make me feel uplifted and energized and capable.
I thought to shape my inner sanctum with only people who I felt good around was somehow cheating.
On Twitter that’s what we are all doing isn’t it? Creating a tribe of like-minded people who make us feel good and move us forward on our journey? Yes I think we are.
Why not create that in my face to face contacts? Recently at a dinner, I had to tell someone that after the Spring I was going to move on to work with someone else. I just haven’t felt like this person is really a positive can-do kind of person and I find myself deflated inside after I leave a meeting with them.
I just don’t have to hoe that row anymore. I really can surround myself with people I am inspired by and who want to embrace life fully with a can-do attitude.
Life is just to darn short not to use my Unfollow button. And I’m going to go out on a limb here and say it’s a kind of spiritual act to know what you don’t have to engage with in your life anymore.